An Open Letter to Mousedom

Photo0042PDear mice and other varmints:

I have tried my best to coexist peaceably, because I am by nature a gentle, amiable soul. I was happy to concede our entire garage to you, as long as you avoided crossing the borders into our house. But I have been pushed over the limit. “Peace in our time” was a pipe dream for Neville Chamberlain, and it’s not working for me, either.

I waffled for a season, telling myself that mice are really cute little warm and fuzzies (in their natural outside habitat). I used moderate control measures when a few of you took up residence among us. But the invasion and ensuing population explosion within our domicile have reached the intolerable point. Deportation has not worked. Neither has making a public example of some of your ring leaders been effectual. New masterminds continually rise to the top, and your family dynasty within our walls has been growing by alarming proportions.

My formal ultimatum is this: get out of my house by sundown or face all-out war.

I have done extensive research, and let me solemnly assure you that there is no pretty way for mice or any of their rodent relatives to meet their demise. The violent keep their kingdoms by force, and I am not above biological and chemical weapons. If I can find the WMDs that eluded George W. I will use them, too!

So, there you have it. I mean it. Now it is up to you to back down and scram. John Wayne and Chuck Norris look like Captain Kangaroo next to this mad mama.  So don’t mess with me anymore. Ya hear?

Advertisements
Published in: on October 25, 2012 at 2:43 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , ,

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://leeannrubsam.wordpress.com/2012/10/25/an-open-letter-to-mousedom/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: