More Weird Search Terms

I think I am going to regularly collect weird search terms from my blog stats.  They are just too much fun to pass up.  If you have odd questions, I’ve got the answers right here!  (Wikipedia, eat your heart out!)

1.)  “How do they do a lobotomy?”  — I’m assuming this is from neither a medical student looking for help on his finals, nor Dr. Frankenstein’s faithful assistant.  It could be from a dissection-happy high school biology teacher.  Watch out, kids!  Make sure the lab specimen in front of you is really a frog, and take a head count on your classmates before starting the procedure.

2.)  “What are retirement dinners?” — What do you think this blog is, the web home of Jeopardy?  Retirement dinners are the backyard cookouts that add the final perfecting touch to an afternoon get-together of bubbas who are bonding by outfitting their pickup trucks with monster-size retreads.  If you do it in a group it’s a lot more fun.  Honestly!  I thought everyone knew that!

3.)  “Prayers for doubt and confusion” — All I can say is, I wouldn’t pray for that.  If you want doubt and confusion, be my guest and go ahead and ask for it.

4.)  “Mountain Dew gallbladder” — Which puts many ??? in my think-tank.  Is this a new song title, like Foggy Mountain Breakdown?  I like Flatt and Scruggs, and I like Foggy Mountain Breakdown, but somehow I don’t think Mountain Dew Gallbladder is going to make it.

And if we’re really talking about gallbladders, is a Mountain Dew gallbladder one on hyper-overload?  What does a Mountain Dew gallbladder look like?  Is it greenish-yellow?  For that matter, what color is a regular gallbladder?  I don’t think I really want to know — but somebody does.

5.)  “Chicago Cubs bubbler” — Let’s get this straight: bubblers reside in Wisconsin, while Chicago Cubs only visit Wisconsin occasionally to humble the Brewers.  Do you want a Chicago Cubs bubbler?  You can probably get it at eBay.  But then, there’s always the risk of 169,543 other people wanting one at the same time, and the auction spirit will drive all reason out of your noggin, and the price will go up to $997.01.  You will be riding high on the euphoria of your victory and will be so indiscreet as to tell your missus, who will shriek, “Honey, what have you done??!!  Now we’ll have to eat dandelion greens all summer, because you’ve spent the family fortune on a sports bubbler!”  I’d say the cheapest way out of a tragedy is to just buy a plain old white one at a resale shop and plaster Cubs decals all over it.

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

RSS feed for comments on this post.

7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. A Mountain Dew gallbladder… if their ads are to be believed must be some sort of “EXTREME!!!” bile collection device.


  2. I am the ‘feeling lucky’ hit for “mild bagel” on a good day. So I know how you feel about Mountain Dew Gallbladder. You must be very proud.


  3. Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

    cheers, Sherbrooke.


  4. It’s definitely humor only someone steeped in American culture could understand.

    “Jeopardy” is a TV game show where the show host gives the answer to a question, and the contestants say what the question was in the first place.

    Re-tire-ment party — putting retread tires on a vehicle is obviously not what a retirement party is about, but thinking about it that way, and adding the “bubbas” in, just came to mind. If you want to know what a bubba is, you’ll have to Google it. I don’t want to get into too much trouble by explaining it.

    Bubblers are only understood by Wisconsinites and people who have been there. The Cubs and the Brewers are friendly rival baseball teams in Chicago and Milwaukee, respectively.

    Foggy Mountain Breakdown is a bluegrass tune that is well-known in the U.S., while Mountain Dew is both a high-caffeine soda and a hillbilly term for high-powered homemade liquor. The hillbilly thing connected to the bluegrass music, which is also a hillbilly thing.

    It’s fun to see our cultural differences, even though we sort of speak the same language, isn’t it? U.K. people eat biscuits and we do, too, but we eat ours with pork sausage gravy all over them, while yours are what we call cookies, and we eat them with milk or coffee. From what I’m told, we wear “pants” as outerwear (slacks, trousers), but U.K. folks keep pants under their slacks. Just fun! 🙂


  5. A Mountain Dew gallbladder..
    I have read the definitive guide on liver flushes: Andreas Moritz’s The Amazing Liver and Gallbladder Flush. I read the entire book, gleaning background information on why people choose to cleanse or flush their liver.
    It’s interesting, I suggest u to read it
    keep up your good work
    I will be a regular reader of ur blog


  6. Thanks for posting! I think you have inspired another blog post!


  7. […] he or she had read the definitive book on liver flushes.  It was in response to my post on Mountain Dew Gallbladders.  I can’t imagine why anyone would flush his liver, much less read about doing so!   But […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: