Fix Your Gallbladder!
December 23, 2008
Someone just left a comment that he or she had read the definitive book on liver flushes. It was in response to my post on Mountain Dew Gallbladders. I can’t imagine why anyone would flush his liver, much less read about doing so! But it got me thinking about the time I took a friend’s advice to cleanse my gallbladder. Maybe she had been reading the same book. She’s fortunate I didn’t flush the friendship.
I had been having some pain that ominously hinted of gallbladder trouble. My devoted buddy told me about a “treatment” to get rid of and/or prevent gallstones. She swore she did it annually. I think she lied!
Her cure involved drinking a mixture of 1/2 cup olive oil and 1/2 cup lemon juice. Pour it down the hatch, and in the morning you feel wonderful. I decided to be conservative and drink half the prescribed amount. It took some doing to get that far. This concoction does not taste like Gatorade or Starbucks special blend.
I just about upchucked on the spot. “Mind over matter,” I told myself, while attempting to force my stomach to retain its goods. Believe me, there was a titanic battle between my mind and the matter for the next hour or two.
Shortly after I retired for the evening, stabbing abdominal pains set in. I thought I was going to die, or at the very least be forced to visit the emergency room and ‘fess up to what I’d done. I had visions of the ER folks employing gastrointestinal roto-rooters to save my life and the insurance company refusing to pay for my rescue from self-mutilation.
Eventually the pain stopped, I fell asleep, and was relieved to wake up the next morning in the same realm I had dozed off in. I want to see heaven — just not quite yet.
My friend received a bright-and-early phone call that I can only hope got her out of bed. I hotly suggested that she keep her home remedies to herself in the future. She was unsympathetic — said it helped her, and she had never experienced the drastic symptoms to which I was testifying. She dropped the names of a few famous people who all use the treatment. Good for them!
We have a forty-year friendship, and it has survived. Yes, I forgave her. But shhh! Don’t tell! I’ve never had the gallbladder issues since.
